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By A bad temper usually implies a sharp tongue.  Sometimes, indeed, it makes one morose and glum.  A brother and a sister living together are said often to have passed months without speaking to each other, though eating at the same table and sleeping under the same roof!  A man recently died who for twelve years, it was said, had never spoken to his wife, though they continued to dwell together, and three times daily sat down together at the same table!

Bad temper sometimes runs to sullen silence.  Such silence is not golden.  Generally, however, a bad-tempered person has an unbridled tongue and speaks out his hateful feelings; and there is no limit to the pain and the harm which angry and ugly words can produce in gentle hearts!

It would be easy to extend this portrayal of the evils of bad temper - but it will be more profitable to inquire HOW a bad-tempered person may become good-tempered?  There is no doubt that this happy change is possible in any case.  There is no temper so obdurately bad - that it cannot be trained into sweetness.  The grace of God can take the most unlovely life - and transform it into the image of Christ.

As in all moral changes, however, grace does not work independently of human volition and exertion.  “Whereunto I also labour, striving according to His working, which worketh in me mightily” (Colossians 1: 29).  God always works helpfully - with those who strive to reach Christlikeness.  We must resist the devil - or he will not flee from us.  We must struggle to obtain the victory over our own evil habits and dispositions, although it is only through Christ that we can be conquerors.  He will not make us conquerors, unless we enter the battle.  We have a share, and a large and necessary share, in the culture of our own character.

The bad-tempered man will never become good-tempered until he deliberately sets for himself the task, and enters resolutely and persistently upon its accomplishment.  The transformation will never come of itself, even in a Christian!  People do not grow out of ugly temper into sweet refinement - as a peach ripens from sourness into lusciousness.

Then the thing to be accomplished is not the destroying of the temper;  temper  is  a good quality in its place.  The task is not destruction - but control.  A man is very weak - who has a strong temper without the power of self-control.  Likewise is he weak - who has a weak temper.  The truly strong man - is he who is strong in the element of temper - that is, has strong passions and feelings capable of great anger - and also has perfect self-control.  When Moses failed and broke down in temper - in self-control, he was not the man to lead the people into the Promised Land; therefore God at once prepared to relieve him.  The task to be set, therefore, in self-discipline is the gaining of complete mastery over every feeling and emotion, so as to be able to restrain every impulse to speak or to act unadvisedly.

We represent Christ in this world.  People cannot see Him; they must look at us - to see a little of what He is like.  Whatever great work we may do for Christ - if we fail to live out His life of love, kindness and patience - we fail in an essential part of our duty as Christians.

Nor can we be greatly useful in our personal life, while our daily conduct is stained by frequent outbursts of anger, and other exhibitions of bad temper.  In the old fable, the spider goes about doing mischief wherever it creeps, while the bee by its wax and its honey, makes “sweetness and light” wherever it flies.  We should be bees - rather than be spiders; living to turn darkness into light - and to put a little more sweetness into the life of all who know us.  But only as our own lives shine in the brightness of holy love, and our hearts and lips distil the sweetness of patience and gentleness, can we fulfil our mission in this world - as Christ’s true messengers to men.

Then there is need of a higher standard of character in this regard, than many people seem to set for themselves.  We never rise higher than our ideals.  The perfect beauty of Christ should ever be envisioned in our hearts - as that which we would attain for ourselves.  The honor of our Master's name - should impel us to strive ever toward Christlikeness in spirit and in disposition.

In striving to overcome our impatience with others, it will help us to remember that we and they have the common heritage of a sinful nature.  The thing in them which irritates us - is, no doubt, balanced by something in us which looks just as unlovely in their eyes and just as sorely tries their forbearance toward us!

Very likely, if we think our neighbours are hard to live peaceably with - they think about the same of us!  And who shall tell in whom lies the greater degree of fault?  Certain it is, that a really good-tempered person can rarely ever be drawn into a quarrel with anyone.  He is resolutely determined that he will not be a partner in any unChristian strife.  He would rather suffer wrongfully, than offer any retaliation.  He has learned to bear - and to forbear.  Then, by his gentle tact - he is able to conciliate any who are angry.

Life is too short to spend even one day of it in bickering and strife!  Love is too sacred to be forever lacerated and torn by the ugly briers of sharp temper!  Surely we ought to learn to be loving and patient with others - since God has to show every day such infinite patience toward us!  Is not the very essence of true love - the spirit that is not easily provoked, that bears all things?  Can we not, then, train our life to sweeter gentleness? Can we not learn to be touched even a little roughly, without resenting it?  Can we not bear little injuries, and apparent injustices, without flying into a rage?  Can we not have in us something of the mind of Christ, which will enable us, like Him, to endure all wrong and injury and give back no word or look of bitterness?
(Adapted from Gracegems website)